Witty Scented Soy Candle - "Light this candle to distract from the overwhelming existential dread. You’re welcome!" For Millennial

"Light This Candle to Distract From the Overwhelming Existential Dread. You’re Welcome!"

Ah, Millennials—the generation that was promised dream jobs, affordable housing, and financial stability, only to be handed avocado toast and crushing anxiety instead. If you’ve ever stared at your bank account, questioned your entire life’s purpose at 2 AM, or seriously considered running away to live in a cozy cottage with Wi-Fi, this candle is for you.

With 10 amazing scents, you can momentarily escape the doom spiral of student loans, climate change, and the fact that you still don’t know how taxes work. Made from a 100% natural soy wax blend, featuring a 100% cotton wick, and poured into a chic glass jar, this candle burns for 50-60 hours—which is just enough time to binge an entire TV series while ignoring your responsibilities.

The glossy permanent adhesive label ensures that anyone who visits your home understands your vibe: equal parts burnt out, self-aware, and just trying to make it through the week. Assembled in the USA from globally sourced parts—because, much like your coping mechanisms, it’s been pieced together from whatever we could find.

P.S. All scents have the same wax color, because we know you’re already overwhelmed by decision fatigue.

Product features
- Eco-friendly and non-toxic, made from natural ingredients
- Reusable glass vessel for sustainable home decor
- Choose from nine aromatic scents like Cinnamon Vanilla and Coconut Cream + Cardamom
- Compliant with ASTM safety standards for safe burning
- Long-lasting burn time of 50-60 hours

Care instructions
- Keep burning candle within sight. Keep away from children and pets. Never burn the candle near flammable items.